This is what I wrote to Almaxeia on her shoutbox "Oh fuck. I totally forgot I wrote here. Im not in Laos. Still here. I misunderstood that girl. Apparently she is even more socially retarded that I am but I find that cute. We spend a lot of time together. I finally found a girl I can trust and I don't suffocate her. I met her on group therapy. We aren't able to be in relationship while there so I am gonna wait two months before dating her. I can wait
No other girl interests me. Also I need to deal with my defence mechanism - getting drunk when I get really sad
Generally I was so sad because I started really believing in destiny. She is the first girl I feel I could trust 100% and I thought she said she would never date me but she like didnt fully communicatw what she meant. Just a misunderstanding but thanks to it I met lots of people on some discord about DXM and we are talking daily on voice chat. Now i stopped giving even more fucks. I dont stream in pants. I stream in underwear. Lul. I feel happy to live. I forgot about Helen. To be honest I think I could finally talk to her because I no longer carry any romantic feelings for her. I mean I just hope she forgives me some day what I did to her. I really do. I dont care if she messages me. I just hope she forgives me and finds peace and forget about how terrible I was towards her. I also really feel bad about how I treated Eskjljj. I was toxic towards both of them
Now im doing better. Gotta find job for weekends. Everything is going great. I love life. Im no longer prisoner of hate - I lost these shackles holding me back. I hope you all are doing great. Peace."