My Spanish midterm behind me, my mind is back to game design. I've only about 5 or 6 weeks of school remaining and then the rest of my life stretches out before me. Mentally, I've completely checked out. I don't even care if I graduate anymore, and that's not a good thing, I've told myself that many times, but it's a sentiment too core to my fundamental self to override through inner monologues.

Similarly, I'm beginning to resent how I've tried to force myself to have a design document done. It's a good idea on paper, as many a project seemingly fell by the sidelines from lack of adequate preparation. However, now I'm beginning to second guess that, because it's been stifling to my creativity and will to work.

This wall of text confuses and terrifies me, Geldonyetich, put in some multimedia that is arguably related to what you are saying.

What if, instead, I simply sat down and said I have a week to complete something? Where "complete" doesn't include time-intensive stuff like save game implementations or good graphics. Then, if that doesn't happen, I just scrap my efforts (maybe salvage some of it into a library if I feel that's appropriate) and start over from scratch with another idea.

The idea behind this approach is to give my creativity free reign to find what it really wants. To these ends, this "time limit" approach rapidly cycles through a lot of different ideas quickly. Really, if you're experienced in BYOND, it doesn't take that long to produce something playable. Anything over that period of time is often working against yourself.

To some people, it's probably going to seem like I'm a goddamn tease to first suggest I'm going to make this or that game, and then change my mind. Sorry about that. The truth of the matter is I was promising these results in hopes that it would encourage me to see them through to completion. It backfired. Instead, my muse to roll up into a fetal position. Caged birds don't sing.

Geez that last multimedia sucked, it was just some guy plugging his book, I should just leav-OMG, kitten!

It would be different if I were a professional being paid for this. Having your livelihood tied to a thing is a pretty good motivation. However, that day is not here yet. The only reason I have to develop games right now is for the joy of it. Thus, I have to choose an approach appropriate to my current life situation.

It's often pointed out in mindfulness and motivational books that there is no external "you" to motivate. When you shove on yourself to get something done, the result is only cognitive dissonance. If I can't make peace with the idea of doing something, it just won't be done. The trick is figuring out how to go with the flow in such a way as to be productive.