This is pretty deep, and long, so bare with me lol. Ok, two things I wanna talk to myself tonight, the first is politic related, and the other is poverty related... well, less poverty and more "what if" if I acted more working class. Lol, anyway here we go:

The first matter, is that over the last few weeks and months, I've gathered a few followers, some are american, and they do know that I dont like them much, lol. Why are they followers ? well they intend to learn about politics, and for some reason I got caught into starting to teach the basics to some people.

Its interesting, if you've been into politics for a few years, you'll know that when you started out in politics, you say stupid things, you believe in stupid things, and you support stupid people. For me, it was supporting the extreme right wing party the "British National Party (BNP)", which is one of the most stupid things I've done in my life. I'm a liberal commie now, as I like to call myself, some aspects of communism I can see being successfuly implemented in the UK system (hell, some of them already are), and supported with good liberal policies with the odd conservative policy, could actualy work.

Anyway, we all do stupid things when we start politics, its like a stage you just have to go through, to be stronger and more defined after. These guys I'm teaching, they dont realise that their in this stage, they think their making progress, but their yet to hit the wall that will effectively change their limited knowledge. They can do two things from here, they either simply give up, wanting the simple life, anything seems better than politics at that stage. The other option, is to stick at it, knowing full well that people will hate you, your reforms (if you get that far) is gunna sod some people, even if it helps more, and that your life is effectively going to be misery unless you have the friends and hopefully a lover to support you.

The second thing, is that I've been talking to a north western lass, just turned 14 tonight. Shes quite pretty, given her age, nice skin, nice hair, but you can tell she comes from a working class family, she smokes and drinks at that age, and you can tell in her eyes its not just for the fun of it either, shes trying to escape from herself and the problems surrounding her.

Us kids grow up to fast, some of us cant handle it, I dont think even I handled it very well. Anyway, this girl, after watching her through webcam, I see the way she moves, the way she acts, for someone like me, who seems to have an ability with people, it feels like I just know things about her that she hasnt told me yet, its stronger than just pondering, it feels like fact, its very hard to explain.

I feel, that if when I hit my own politcal wall, if I decided to quit, I could have very eaisly fallen in love for this girl, I can feel it inside. But because I did continue, I did develop myself much stronger than I would be if I quit, I simply couldnt love her in this state. I love Zeen, and I've only been able to love her because of those developments, if I quit at that wall, I would never of dreamed being with a girl like her, and if I was lucky, I'd be with a fellow working class girl, probably drinking and smoking my troubles away.

Its an interesting thing to think of, I dont regret making the choice I made at that wall, I'm happy to be with Zeen, only thinking of what could have happened. (Which for people like me, is actualy quite exciting to think about lol).

Anyway, enough baffle for one day.