Today we celebrate the nurturing love of our mother Gaia, and so forth.
Don't be fooled by all the sentimental anthropomorphizing claptrap. Earth is often beautiful, yes. But remember that to Earth, we are smaller than fleas on a hound. And remember too that if you get in its way, Earth will kill you without a second thought.
ID:41956
 Apr 22 2008, 8:24 am
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Apr 22 2008, 8:45 am
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Lummox JR
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I think we should celebrate by extincting something. I vote for lice.
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Things I keep wanting to say will probably make for a good post on their own, so I'll just give a preview by pointing to the latest environmental fad, human extinction porn:
The World Without Us Obviously the world without us humans is the perfect place...a world without poetry, literature, kids who want to grow up to be astronauts, or episodes of trashy old science fiction shows available on Netflix. Yeah, that's the world I want to live in. Oh wait... | |
The Earth travels around the sun once every 365.2564 days. This works out to a mean orbital speed of 29.783 kilometres per second. At that velocity, a static object in Earth's way (ignoring gravitational effects) will suffer a kinetic impact of approximately 177,911,728,800,000,000 terajoules.
Not only would it kill you without a second thought, but also without a first thought! Your own first thought would likely be, "Oh f--" | |
Of course, any object large enough to be unaffected by Earth's atmosphere will have strong gravitational effects on the Earth.
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*scattered applause* Way to wreck a joke, dude. =P
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Earth will kill you without a second thought. That's it! Somebody call the White House and tell them to invade Earth. | |
Jtgibson wrote:
*scattered applause* Way to wreck a joke, dude. =P You know it. | |
Earth sounds like an asshole =(
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Duelmaster409 wrote:
Earth sounds like an asshole =( Nah, it's just got a lot to deal with. | |
Mike H wrote:
That's it! Somebody call the White House and tell them to invade Earth. It's not an unreasonable reaction -- but a better plan would be to destroy any other celestial bodies that are planning to collide with Earth. When it comes to those guys, the interests of Earth and humanity neatly coincide. See "Armageddon" for a cheesily entertaining example of this scenario, or "Deep Impact" for a just plain cheesy example. | |
Jtgibson wrote:
Not only would it kill you without a second thought, but also without a first thought! Heh, I thought of that, but my warning applies equally well to those who have kept their two feet on the ground all their lives. Don't mess with Earth. It knows where you live. | |
Deadron wrote:
Obviously the world without us humans is the perfect place...a world without poetry, literature, kids who want to grow up to be astronauts, or episodes of trashy old science fiction shows available on Netflix. I agree (with the sarcastic point, not the overt one). For the sake of your blood pressure, don't visit vhemt.org. [Edit: I'm not sure that "sarcastic" and "overt" are the right words. Maybe "esoteric" and "exoteric." Or "ulterior" and "literal." At any rate, I feel ya, bro.] | |
Lummox JR wrote:
I think we should celebrate by extincting something. I vote for lice. I vote for E. Coli. Those damn things are everywhere! | |
I think we might need E. Coli for digestion or something. But lice, nobody needs those. My extinctin' list looks something like this:
- Lice - Fleas - Mosquitos - Cockroaches - Silverfish - Spiders - Hippies Not necessarily in that order. I'll grant spiders help keep insect populations down but there's no reason something else can't take their place, plus there's always chemicals. Any of the others have a purely destructive impact. | |
My most memorable... uh, memory... of silverfish is the time one ran across my neck while I was sleeping.
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I included them in the list because we have a few in the new house. Except for the fact that they can damage books and bite, and that they're really gross to look at, I wouldn't have a problem with them. But since all of the above is true, screw 'em!
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http://break.com/index/fck-the-earth-day.html
"What's the worst thing that could happen? It floods some cities and destroys the food chain? "Learn to swim, and eat fucking rocks" "Happy Fuck the Earth Day" | |
Gughunter wrote:
At any rate, I feel ya, bro. Keep your hands to yourself, bub! | |
Lummox JR wrote:
I think we might need E. Coli for digestion or something. But lice, nobody needs those. My extinctin' list looks something like this: WHAT? I'm considered a hippie, someone save me from Lummox! | |