OR ELSE!

Haha, seriously. Right now I am in the process of adding hallucinations to the RPG I am making. Which basically makes any messages you would receive all messed up (an example would be the "You have no ammo for this weapon" message, which turns into "You must construct additional pylons!"). But what I need is weird and whacky monsters, items and spells.
Whenever you are hallucinating and see a monsters, items or spells name it is changed. You could attack a dragon only to receive a "You attack the Miniature Giant Space Hamster!" message. Or you could pick up a sword and receive a "You picked up the Diamond Encrusted Diaper!" message. You could even cast Fireball and get a "You start casting Noodle Bolt!".
The possibilities are endless, provided I have endless ideas. So basically, come up with weird and whacky names like this for me please or else D:<