So, there are these 4 girls that I care about deeply. They're all 12-13. I've known them for about 2 years. If something were to happen to any one of them, I'd be estatic. I have a sort of overly protective brotherly love for them.
Well, one of them, we'll call her Ranran (because that's what I call her), has a problem controlling her hormones. I was talking to her one day and she brings up the topic of sex, to which I told her she better not have it until she's married, or I'd kill the guy who she does it with. She goes "no, I'll have all kinds of sex I want. Just when I'm ready."
It was a very mature statement for someone so young, and it made me want to hit her, but at the same time I wanted to hug her and show her that she's still a kid. Well, Ranran likes me more than a brotherly figure, so I told her if she would keep herself chastity until she's of a certain age, I might be the one who takes it away from her. I don't care what happens whenever the time comes for that, but I don't want one of my girls getting hurt by some other guy.
Well, another one, Rissy (I have such a way with their nicknames), told me the other day that she gets turned on whenever someone pokes her in the stomach. I told her it was absolutely fine as long as she kept her hormones under control. Well, today she tells me she's been having thoughts of making out with a guy named Max, and it just set me off. I started yelling and I blew up on her and Ranran, trying to argue my point across. I told them that they're just getting into their teenage years, but they're still kids. I reminded them of how they still play on playgrounds and run around and play. I screamed that they should enjoy it, because some people like myself had to grow up at an early age because of crappy childhoods, and don't get to enjoy what little bit of being a kid we have. They both, naturally disagreed, and said it was normal for kids their age to do things like that. I told them that if they wanted me to keep being there for them, then they better not even think about doing that kind of think right now. Ranran is mad at me, but Rissy is upset because she found out about how crappy my life was growing up and she wants to be more appreciative of her own.
It just makes me angry to no end, though. I didn't let them get a word in edgewise, and when I was done I left. It was one of the worst feelings in the world. I feel like I'm too protective, but at the same time I know I'm right. They're still kids. They're still innocent and pure. They haven't even barely started dating and crushing on other boys, and now they're thinking about this. The other two aren't worried about this sort of stuff. They possess phobias when it comes to sex. But Ranran and Rissy, I don't know. It just angers me to know end that these girls, no, my girls, are trying to grow up so fast when they're kids. It's disgusting.
I dunno. Maybe I'm just being too excessively protective. I know they have to grow up, but I know it's not the time. Is what I did right? I mean, was it really okay for me to blow up on them like that? I feel bad about it, but part of me knows they needed it.
ID:37879
 Jan 6 2008, 10:42 am (Edited on Jan 6 2008, 10:52 am)
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Jan 6 2008, 10:46 am
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Eon shiraku
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No, you're a funkiller and their parents probably think you're trying to steal them and forcibly make them your children.
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"I blew up on her and Ranran"
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Eon shiraku wrote:
No, you're a funkiller and their parents probably think you're trying to steal them and forcibly make them your children. Their parents love me. o; | |
Rugg wrote:
"I blew up on her and Ranran" asshole. D< edited just for you. >_> | |
Thanks. :E
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Also, umh. Let them experience those things on their own. They'll find out how bad sex is for their age soon enough.
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Rugg wrote:
Also, umh. Let them experience those things on their own. They'll find out how bad sex is for their age soon enough. I'd rather them not have to go through that and have crappy futures because they couldn't control themselves early on. =[ | |
Congratulations, you just set up an avenue for them to avoid you if they're uncomfortable about something.
It's nice that you're protective over them all (if not a little creepy) but, short of chaining them in your basement, you won't be able to stop any of them from going out and having sex if they really want to. And if they do make a mistake and need someone to turn to, do you really think they'll feel comfortable around you? I think you were wrong to blow up at them. | |
I think you have the right idea, but I don't think you should have blew up at them. You should advise them, tell them your own experiences (in a negative manner even if thats a lie), but never tell them what to do. My parents try to do that and it always fails for them. And although I get into trouble, it just ends with me hating them more. And same with all my friends. If they are forced with something, it just turns out to be bad on both sides.
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I agree with Sarm. Now they just won't tell you about it. The best path to take is to make it not seem as great through psychology. Remember, they think it's great because their friends do, and they're more inclined to believe them than you.
One thing I've honestly seen work before is to tell them about your stories and your friends bad stories, etc. There's always a chance this could have the opposite effect, but this way, they can relate to you, because you're no longer talking to them as someone older who isn't up to date with trends, you're talking to them as one of their own. If you have any female friends that were raped by their boyfriend because they were being careless, stories of pregnancy at a young age where they used lots of protection and it ruined their life, about how they were fooled into thinking they were in love, etc., those are good stories to tell. But remember that threats and scare tactics usually make it worse, so you need to figure out a way around them. | |
It is good you are protective BBD, but try not to be too protective else they will find you annoying, or may not have the same connection with you as before.
I recently spoke to one of my mates and she said that she had sex to early (she was 16) and she should have waited longer. At the time she was insanely in love with this guy near our area. However, she later realized that he wouldn't show the same emotions as she shows him. So i guess experience can only make a person stronger. What you should think about is, if they want sex for the right reason. If you know they do, what can you do except just say "make sure you use protection and don't do anything dangerous/stupid". | |
You fool!
Women don't like being claimed. | |
Yeah, way to doom that relationship you cherish so much.
Looking at this from their point of view, the question begs to be asked: who the fuck do you think you are to tell 'em what to do? I mean, it's normal to care about someone, but it's inhuman to take control over their lives just because you think your way's the right way. You lived your shit. Let them live theirs. Just because YOU think they'll turn bad does not mean they absolutely will. It's their parents' responsibility to guide them to the crossroads where they'll choose who they are. It sure as hell is NOT your responsibility, let alone your right, to block roads you don't see as "appropriate". Love, essentially, is about respect. And your behavior shows anything BUT that. | |
Uh...BigBoiD...calm down a bit.
First of all, Miles_Edgeworth is right, and I could not have said it any better myself. Also, BigBoiD, yes, they should be thinking about having sex at this age. Trust me, they won't have it anytime soon though. They're becoming teenagers. You can't say "NO! STOP IT! DON'T THINK ABOUT SEX! NEVER EVER THINK ABOUT SEX!" Honestly, you sound like a psychopath, and I mean that in the least offensive way. :) | |
When you're 18 we're naming you pedo of the year. But nah I think people shouldn't go off having sex with people. It will just fuck their life up and especially if they're female. There's a great chance they can get pregnant at their ages when they do it could ruin their life or kill them. Vagina isn't supposed to stretch like that at their ages. Anyways you could always learn mind control and brainwash them.. The government has some "good" guides on this.
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Sex is fun.
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Whow. BBD. I have kinda the same problem. Except, I'm 17 and so are the girls. Ones a whore now and one's kinda a whore. Try to take care of this before high school =(
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Personally I don't think someone as creepy as you should be advising any little girls about sex advice, leave it to better less weird people, you just uh kinda creep me out and I couldn't see anyone being all that comfortable talking about sex with someone like you.
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Oh and Nishi, 16 isn't considered young. Most of my friends and I started around 15, some girls even 14.
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