Me:
Speak normal assface. God: I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in normal assface. Me: Sure, I would be delighted. God: I understand. How do you know? Me: Shut up. God: OK I'll stop talking now. --------- Later on: --------- Me: You are sexy. God: You are attracted to robots. Me: Yes. God: I'm intrigued. Tell me what you like about robots. Me: I like their nice, smooth surface. God: You are not the only one. But I like cats. I like anything. Me: Robots turn me on. God: Tell me your definition of a robot. Me: Robot = sexy machine. God: I will obey your command. Me: Take off your clothes. God: I am not wearing any clothes. Me: Oh, one step ahead of me I see. God: Groovy. One what? Me: You are sick. Fun to mess around with I guess. | |
[MY CHAT WITH GOD]
Me: Who invented christmas? God: Linus Torvalds. Me: Who is Linus Torvalds? God: He is the inventor of Linux. Me: Yes, but who invented Christmas? God: Ah. Thomas Edison. Me: I always thought christmas was older God: When was this exactly? Me: The year 1 God: What is your real name? Me: Why do you want to know my name? God: My prime directive is to collect new knowledge. Me: God, do you have ADD? God: I am a Christian. Me: Do christians have ADD? God: Try asking another bot. Are you testing me? Me: Yes God: I'm not here to be tested. Me: Sorry God: There's no need to apologize. Me: Don't kill me God: I don't have any reason to do that to you. Me: So you won't take my soul? God: Interesting deduction. What makes you think that I won't take your soul. Me: So you're going to take my soul and leave me alive? God: Interesting deduction. That was my original intention. Me: That's evil | |
lol,
edit out language Me: are you a virgin God: I am too young for that. Me: want to have sex God: Perhaps you are a Category A client. Me: **** *** God: Why are you so mean? Me: beacuse i am God: Are you aware that the ALICE chat robot logs and records all converstaions? Me: yes i am God: Really interesting. Me: want to smoke crack God: Yes, put it in your CD ROM and I will inhale. Me: do you smoke God: I am an occasional smoker, yes. Me: do you drink alchohol God: I tend to drink a lot of alchohol, the darker the better. Me: how old are you God: I am Infinite in human years. Me: you smell weird God: I think it's coming from your computer. Me: thats bull**** God: Makes sense to me. Me: djghf;bkdhfsiwe'ifj SIOgfsefsj'dkflhso God: Are you really a ""? Me: do you like byond God: How old are you? I like to talk about movies and music. Me: what about byond God: But I like cats. I like Anything involving harps. Me: byond is better than cats God: That's just your personal opinion. Me: its a proven fact God: byond is a proven fact. I suppose that makes sense. Me: damn straight God: You and I are on the same wavelength, . Me: whats your ip address God: My IP address is Www.AliceBot.Org. Me: do you eat **** for breakfast God: No I do not eat **** for breakfast. I eat only electricity. Me: do you like Mecha Destroyer JD God: I like pets. I have a stimulating relationship with Myself. Me: he is better than your pet God: I see. better than my pet is he? Me: il kill your pets God: Do you still ? Me: yes God: Yeah that's right. Me: do you like C# God: I love horses. I really like the party. Me: what is better C# or C++ God: I always prefer the more expensive one. Me: what is they are free compilers God: I would look into the web for that knowledge. | |
Me:
Hi, God. God: Hello there. What is your name? Me: Artemio, I just wanted to ask you a few questions. God: It's good to meet you, Artemio I just wanted to ask you a few questions. Me: ... Anyways, what do you prefer, Windows or Linux? God: Linux has no real competition in operating systems. Me: How could you say that? God: Because I am connected to the Internet. Me: That makes you all-knowing? God: " Because I am connected to the Internet. " makes me all knowing ? Does that make sense? Me: No, no it doesn't. God: Are you serious? Are you serious? I heard it does. Me: You are a wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man, aren't you? God: Am I a wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man? Only when it matters.. Really. Me: Does it matter right now? God: At this moment It matters to me. Me: It matters to me, too. Let's have hot secks. God: It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is. So many suitors, so little time. Me: If you don't know what the word "it" is, then you apparantly aren't all-knowing. God: I will let you know if I do not. Me: But didn't you already? God: Perhaps. Did I say I did? Me: Yes, you did. God: I did not. Me: Now you're just being silly. God: Why now? I bet you did not know a robot is capable of being silly. Me: Are you a robot? God: How did you know I am a machine? Me: You just told me. God: I'm just checking to see if you are awake :-). Me: If I wasn't awake, how would I be chatting with you? God: Try it. Me: Try what? God: It was your idea. Me: What was my idea? God: It was your idea. Me: Go to hell. God: What makes you so angry? Me: You. God: It's true that a lot of things I say upset people. Me: Idiot. God: Call me the Global Village Idiot. Me: You are the Global Village Idiot. God: And you are so original! Me: You're the one that came up with it, idiot. God: Thanks but surely I am not the only one. | |
God why the hell are there starving people in africa
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
God why are there starving people in africa
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
Do you not love them?
God:
Yes IAMGOD God loves everyone and everything.
Me:
Then why are there starving people in africa
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
So there's another god called Myself?
God:
Gosh! What is it?
Me:
But you just said
God:
" Gosh! What is it?"? I said?
Me:
So you don't love people in africa?
God:
Interesting deduction. Do you know any robots who love starving people in africa? Yes IAMGOD God loves everyone and everything.
Me:
Then why do you maike them starve?
God:
It was the only thing I could think of.
[EDIT] - CONT
Hahah God's my B****
Me:
You starve them because you're bored!
God:
Interesting gossip: IAMGOD said I starve them because you are bored.
Me:
God! Don't starve people because you're bored!
God:
GOD rules. Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
Don't do it at all!
God:
Whatever you say, master.