Your skin glows like the couch, blossoms sweet as the remote in the purest hope of spring.
My heart follows your computer voice and leaps like a potatto at the whisper of your name.
The evening floats in on a great dog wing.
I am comforted by your my friend that I carry into the twilight of bodybeams and hold next to my desk.
I am filled with hope that I may dry your tears of TV.
As my DVDs falls from my Pool, it reminds me of your Shoes.
In the quiet, I listen for the last Socks of the day.
My heated Shirt leaps to my Bathroom. I wait in the moonlight for your secret Mousepad
so that we may Paint as one, Shirt to Shirt, in search of the magnificient Pottery
and mystical Alarm Clock of love.
ID:276166
 Jun 13 2005, 7:54 pm (Edited on Jun 13 2005, 8:10 pm)
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This is my first try so don't laugh.
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Flame Sage wrote:
This is my first try so don't laugh. > Your skin glows like the couch, blossoms sweet as the remote in the purest hope of spring. doesn't compile....lol...*joke* | |
Lemme guess... This was generated by some sort of "Madlib" poem generator?
It had you type in a bunch of words, which it then stuck into blank spaces in that poem? And you typed in a bunch of random stuff in and around your house (most of them in your immediate field of view)? Well, however it came about, excellent work! | |
More like stop myself from retching. While not as bad as some of the angsty babble or overly saccharine refuse I've seen, it's still terrible and looks like the product of a psycho madlib program.
On the upside, it's almost Dadaist in it's bizareness :-) | |
Beautiful, but as is so often the case with writing, it could be improved by a little trimming:
Your skin glows like the couch, my heart leaps like a potato at the whisper of your name. The evening floats in on a great dog wing. In the quiet, I listen for the last socks of the day. I wait in the moonlight for your secret mousepad so that we may paint as one. Now that's poetry! | |
Elation wrote:
Vizuke wrote: I think your Kholint account got banned because of that joke. :p You called me a loser. :D | |
Flame Sage wrote:
The evening floats in on a great dog wing. Hmm I never knew dogs had wings mate..hmm weird poem, Good Job. | |
Hell Ramen wrote:
I think your Kholint account got banned because of that joke. :p Yeah, for a week. :p "compile this, loser." was the legendary phrase. <_< | |
Even though this is probably the work of a madlib program, I think it still beats some of my old psycho poetry that wasn't really even poetic, as much as the manic spewing of depressing sentences.
"Baby, you blow my mind, seriously, load up another .44 round! I always feel so different when I'm not alone. Alone, I am free to do what I want without you persecuting me, without fear of you knowing who I am. I go out in public with a large smile on my face, I stop my ears from bleeding just long enough so that I can act like I'm listening to you. I walk down the street and look at the road below me, ignoring everyone and everything around me, to preserve who I truly am. My mind feels like a country that has the rest of the world in a quarantine, to prevent itself from becoming infected. I rinse my mind of the filth every night, I have the 9mm shells to prove it." | |
Glows like the couch... *sniff*
:O