I'd hate to see his laser pointer!
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A guy walks into a bar and sits down. He starts dialing numbers like a telephone on his hand and talking into his hand. The bartender walks over and tells him that this is a very tough neighborhood and he doesn't need any trouble here.
The guy says, "You don't understand, I'm very hi-tech. I had a phone installed in my hand because I was tired of carrying the cellular."
The bartender says, "Prove it." The guy dials up a number and hands his hand to the bartender. The bartender talks into the hand and carries on a conversation. "That's incredible", says the bartender "I would have never believed it!"
"Yeah", said the guy, "I'm really very hi-tech. I can keep in touch with my broker, my wife, you name it! By the way, where is the men's room?"
The bartender directs him to the men's room. The guy goes in and doesn't come out for the longest time. Fearing the worst given the tough neighborhood, the bartender goes into the men's room. The guy is there and is spread-eagle on the wall. His pants are pulled down and he has a roll of toilet paper up his butt. "Oh my god!" said the bartender. "Did they rob you? How much did they get?"
The guy turns and says, "No, no, I'm just waiting for a fax."