My noble, glamrock hating dog

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ID:24143
 
Dec 12 2006, 10:58 pm (Edited on Dec 12 2006, 11:14 pm)
So a couple of weeks ago I "rescued" a dog from the pound. I use the term "rescue" loosely because I live in the yuppie suburbia that is Orange County and I may have only saved this dog from a lavish lifestyle in beach-front property somewhere. But then again, those damn beach hippies probably don't pay attention when their dog jumps into the freezing Pacific. It's a tough call!

I've named this dog "Baron" since he is a noble creature with noble aspirations (namely, to have someone scoop up his poop for him every day). I'm pretty sure he has no clue that is his name. Right now he mainly responds to "get the hell over here, dog!" (or the equally frequent "get the hell off that, dog!")

I've never had a dog before so I don't really know how he compares, but he seems to be quite a character. All attentive and obedient one second and completely oblivious the next. I have done a scientific analysis of this and constructed a state-machine modeling Baron's behavior:

Food in hand? Possum in yard? Persona
No No Determined forager
No Yes Evil homewrecker
Yes No Angel sent from heaven
Yes Yes Hyperactive schizophrenic

He likes to follow me around everywhere. I must say this is pretty endearing, albeit somewhat disconcerting when I find him outside the bathroom door after doing my business. It's like I have my own stalker. That's another first (I think... some of these BYOND fanboys are a little sketchy).

Despite the fact that Baron has chewed up everything in the house (with the exception of his chew toys), I must say that I am enjoying his presence immensely. He is an endless source of entertainment and has me constantly pondering new things. For example, after he ate a piece of poop during our morning walk, I thought about how wonderfully recursive an "all poop" diet would be. It's the secret to perpetual motion, I tell you! I can't wait to use this story during my Nobel Prize acceptance speech.


I hope that stuffed dog enjoyed his 2.1 seconds of life, may he rest in peace

Tonight I learned that the dog doesn't like David Lee Roth, of Van Halen fame. This is news to me-- I thought all dogs liked Van Halen. But judge for yourselves: I was listening to the "Arena Rock" station on our TV with the thousand channels and David Lee Roth came on and started rocking his stuff. Baron, who was peacefully chewing my sock, immediately perked up and started this low growl that he usually reserves for cats. I looked outside for a cat, but none was in the vicinity (they are getting wise to our property boundaries). So I said, "What's the deal, dog?" And he said, "This sucks. Change it." So I switched to "80s Rock Ballads" and we enjoyed some Meatloaf together.

I'll make another post after Baron takes down his first wall (awwww, how cute!) We live in a house made of glass; it's only a matter of time!

Dec 13 2006, 5:09 am
He doesn't like David Lee Roth? Does he have his shots? Also, most dogs are crazy, but it is so cute! Dogs bring up memories simular to those of small children and babies. They know nothing of the world and nothing affects them for more than a minute.

Cats, on the other hand, know everything about the world, or so they would lead you to believe.

/me goes to feed his slave drivers cats
Dec 13 2006, 6:11 am
So I said, "What's the deal, dog?" And he said, "This sucks. Change it."

Cool talking dog man.
Dec 13 2006, 10:58 am
I remember reading somewhere that when dogs eat poop, it can often be indicative of a protein deficiency. It doesn't always mean that, of course, but I'd definitely tell the vet about it.
Dec 13 2006, 11:13 am
Remember; a dog isn't just for Christmas, it's for life.
Dec 13 2006, 11:59 am
Wizkidd0123 wrote:
I remember reading somewhere that when dogs eat poop, it can often be indicative of a protein deficiency.

As far as I know, this was just a one-time thing for Baron, who is normally what I'd term "playfully ignorant" about poop (and, come to think of it, pretty much everything).

Out of morbid curiosity, I went ahead and googled "dog eats poop" and was led to the following remedy, courtesy of http://www.perfectpaws.com/copro.html:

"It is also possible to make the feces unappetizing by sprinkling them with hot sauce, lemon juice or anything the dog finds distasteful. Some dogs like hot sauce and will consider it a garnish, so find out what your dog does not like before using it."

The image of this has me in stitches. Just picture a dog owner going to the trouble of dousing a turd with hot sauce and then seeing his dog lap it up like it's a tasty steak with all the fixings. That has to be infuriating!
Dec 13 2006, 4:56 pm
You want to see a dog go wild? Turn on Animal Planet.
Jan 3 2007, 10:50 pm
No. Turn on the Dog Whisperer (national geographic I think).
He'll show you who the pack leader is.
Feb 14 2007, 5:58 am
cute doggie ^_^
Feb 15 2007, 5:51 am
Is this your first dog/pet? Seems like you're enjoying yourself.

Also, grab another pic of him---that one kind of gives him a cross-eyed appearance (his left eye is going a little far to the left, I think). Ignore that I said that if Baron is indeed cross-eyed, in which case you need to find some goofy pic of you holding something in his face showing what he's "really" looking at.
Feb 15 2007, 8:20 am
This is my first dog. I had a guinea pig for a while once. And a few plants. I taught a gladiola to fetch, that was pretty good.

Those aren't the dog's real eyes (I should check if they are even brown). They came out red in the photo so I used some fancy filter to put in freaky eyes.

I shall upload a new photo of Baron misbehaving.
Jun 15 2007, 10:14 am
Nice dog. Do we get to see Baron peeing on someone's leg in the next pic!?
Jul 16 2007, 1:48 pm
uhh where can i get one o dem talkin dogs o.o
Feb 12 2008, 9:17 am
Hahaha. I love the Van Halen part. My dog argues with me, it's about the only thing he does. xD
Sep 8 2010, 3:00 pm
Put up a current picture of your dog, he must be 4 or 5 years old now.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jan 21 2011, 12:23 pm
Or, you can not go on your own blog for months...weird.
Jan 21 2011, 12:38 pm
Here's a picture from last year sometime: http://tom.byondhome.com/images/grassy.jpg
Jan 21 2011, 12:57 pm
It looks like if he backs up, he'll fall off a cliff. Do you take him cycling at all?
Jan 21 2011, 2:10 pm
I took him out once as a pup and now everytime he sees my bike he runs away.
Jan 21 2011, 2:12 pm
http://tom.byondhome.com/images/grassy.jpg
That's a really nice view.
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