Guys, I need help!

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ID:20738
 
Oct 11 2006, 11:48 am (Edited on Oct 11 2006, 1:29 pm)
My cold retreated from the rest of my body and barricaded itself in my ear!



Help me get rid of it! What should I do?

Nishiatsu suggested baby oil and Sharp said toxic waste. Now what?



Kunark suggested an ear candle, and Nishiatsu said I should try vegetables. Great going you two. All that resulted in a candlelit dinner. Now I have a well-fed, oiled, happy bug in my ear!



BigBoid said to burn it. I gave him a hot foot! I don't think he likes that much.

Then CyberHound suggested I chase him away with a tampon. Ew. I think he mistook it for a cigarette. He's currently smoking it and reclining by the fire like this were the introduction to Masterpiece Theatre.



What's the matter with you guys??? Dark_Shadow_Ninja said I should get him drunk. I think he likes it. He'll never leave at this rate!



Lord of Light suggested that I seduce him. That didn't work out well. Now the pitter patter of little ones echoes through my eardrum.



BigBoid suggested a toothpick, but now he's picking his tooth with it. A good idea, though.



Danial.Beta recommended that I just stab the blasted thing. Due to the placement of my eyes on my head, I was unable to see very well and I kinda missed.

BigBoid's idea of a fish hook with a porno didn't work either, because I got the hook stuck in my open wound. It's a good thing that Nishiatsu suggested I see a "bloody" doctor.



You know what, you guys suck at giving advice! I knew I shouldn't have asked the internet for medical advice!
Oct 11 2006, 11:58 am
Dr.Mario is not a real doctor. Do NOT let him touch your genetails.
Oct 11 2006, 12:23 pm
Put baby oil or some sort of body oil in your ear using a cotton bud or sleep it off.
Oct 11 2006, 12:27 pm
Do not Stab it with a pencil! That can result in red stuff! I suggest dipping your head in a barrel of Toxic Waste! Works wonders :D.
Oct 11 2006, 12:35 pm
Antibiotics if it's not Rotavirus and instead a bacterial infection. I keep some around when I feel like it's possible I could get tonsilitis again. It's bad to take it when you don't need to, because your body becomes immune to antibiotics, but it sure works wonders on those nasty bacterium!

Possibly buy an Ear Candle. I doubt it does much of anything it claims to do as with most holistic medicines, but it is probably soothing on your irritated ear.

If it's pain caused by pressure, find some sinus medicine. Alkeselser and Tylenol work the best for me.
Oct 11 2006, 12:36 pm
I eat lots of fruits and vegetables. Greenies keep the Meanies away :D
Oct 11 2006, 12:42 pm
Burn it. Cold doesn't like Hot.
Oct 11 2006, 12:42 pm
That bugger ain't coming out without some force...but not harmful force. Stick a tampon in there to coax the fella out!
Oct 11 2006, 12:43 pm
CyberHound wrote:
That bugger ain't coming out without some force...but not harmful force. Stick a tampon in there to coax the fella out!

Seconded
Oct 11 2006, 12:45 pm
why not get someone to shout inside it.

"HELLO?! ANYBODY AT HOME!!?!"
Oct 11 2006, 12:51 pm
Get him drunk!
Oct 11 2006, 12:55 pm
Seduce him :)
Oct 11 2006, 1:04 pm
Stick him with a toothpick?
Oct 11 2006, 1:13 pm
Stab him with a knife. You have to stab hard though, light poking will do nothing but aggravate him.
Oct 11 2006, 1:13 pm
Just go see a bloody doctor.
Oct 11 2006, 1:14 pm
I KNOW WHAT TO DO.

You know those little skin cleaner things? Yeah, forget about those. They have nothing to do with it.

Go buy a fishing hook and lure him out some with a porno magazine. Then, when he gets close enough, give him the hook and make him a pirate so you can jerk him out by his peg leg.
Oct 11 2006, 1:30 pm
Bah! Time for me to go to bed and I think my ear is much worse off than before! Thanks a lot you guys. >:(
Oct 11 2006, 1:31 pm
Have you gone blind too?
Oct 11 2006, 2:40 pm
give him a shrubbery. that should appease him.

if that doesn't work by chance, play Cher music. ONLY DO THIS AS A LAST RESORT!!!
Oct 16 2006, 12:03 am
SA threads in this blog.
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