I get very angry and annoyed by the slightest things. I was in a restaurant and some guy was eating i got up turned round and said:
"Stop making F*****G chewing sounds"
I have tried to repress my anger but when it does come out its far worse than it normally would be.
Now to the point should i try to eliminate anger by supressing it completly or will that lead to further problems?
ID:193380
 Jan 23 2002, 11:13 am
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Jan 23 2002, 11:15 am
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Nadrew
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I get mad at small things too, like chewing noises, and when people sit next to you and chew on ice, and slurping ick, don't get me started.
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Hmm ya I get that too... but I find just telling them they're chewing with their mouth open please stop usually works...
If you yell at them it leaves you on an awkward level I have noticed... If he's really immature he might keep doing it to make you mad :( | |
No, thats not what i meant.
I mean that it is not just i common problem if i blow it, i do it big time. Violence, Verbal abuse Vandalism... :( | |
Violence, Verbal abuse Vandalism... Just remember: no matter how mad you get, alliteration is not the answer. -AbyssDragon (Sorry that I'm joking about a serious subject. I couldn't resist!) | |
Now to the point should i try to eliminate anger by supressing it completly or will that lead to further problems? I've heard this a lot, and its completely wrong to think that anger can only be suppressed or released as violence. My (tired) advice is to try to release your anger other ways. More importantly, make a conscious effor to not be bothered by things like this. Don't be bothered and just not do anything, but "train" (for lack of a better word) yourself to not get angry. Tell yourself over and over again that it's not important, and you have no reason to be upset. -AbyssDragon | |
Disclaimer: I'm no expert on this stuff, so take it with a grain of salt. Seeing a qualified professional is always recommended!
A big part of being a mature emotional adult is being able to respond to situations, rather than react. Emotional adults respond, emotional children react. Yelling at someone for loud chewing is reacting to the situation. A more appropriate response might be to either ignore it (admittedly difficult in many situations!) or discretely and nicely inform the chewer of \his problem. Nobody is perfect, and thus all adults do act like emotional children from time to time. The trick is to work on responding more in situations where you'd rather react. Some people do this easily, others have trouble. For all of us, it just takes practice. Think about responding instead of reacting - try to keep that in your mind when a situation arises. Write it down 10 times each day in a notebook - some people find that helps the notion get into their subconscious and then it more easily becomes natural. Hopefully you'll find that as you become more accustomed to responding in situations, the anger fades and things don't bother you as much anymore. I've thought about this a fair amount recently - I realized that the closer someone is to me, the more likely I am to react around them instead of respond. I think it's something along the lines that I'm more willing to show them the bad stuff in addition to the good. Whereas with people I don't know as well (and especially complete strangers) I almost always respond calmly instead of reacting. Kind of silly if you think about it, but I must be so afraid of those people actually seeing me as not so perfect! So while I wouldn't ever do what you describe, all maturing adults must struggle with this basic problem in one way or another. Our animal instinct tells us to react (in the wild there usually isn't time to respond calmly). The civilized side of us is at odds with that tendency, desiring calm responses to help us interact and integrate smoothly with society. Practice makes (closer to) perfect! | |
I've heard this a lot, and its completely wrong to think that anger can only be suppressed or released as violence. My (tired) advice is to try to release your anger other ways. More importantly, make a conscious effor to not be bothered by things like this. Don't be bothered and just not do anything, but "train" (for lack of a better word) yourself to not get angry. Tell yourself over and over again that it's not important, and you have no reason to be upset. Well, while I do agree with your sentiments, sometimes a nice violent alternative is all you can really think of. So, I present a very nice place to do so. ;-) | |
Tarmas wrote:
AbyssDragon wrote: Alliteration refers to consonant sounds. If I remember correctly, what you demonstrate is assonance. | |
Leftley wrote:
Alliteration refers to consonant sounds. If I remember correctly, what you demonstrate is assonance. I've had this conversation before.. :D I looked it up, and came up with: as·so·nance (s-nns) n. 1 - Resemblance of sound, especially of the vowel sounds in words, as in: “that dolphin-torn, that gong-tormented sea” (William Butler Yeats). 2 - The repetition of identical or similar vowel sounds, especially in stressed syllables, with changes in the intervening consonants, as in the phrase tilting at windmills. and: al·lit·er·a·tion (-lt-rshn) n. 1 - The repetition of the same sounds or of the same kinds of sounds at the beginning of words or in stressed syllables, as in “on scrolls of silver snowy sentences” (Hart Crane). 2 - Modern alliteration is predominantly consonantal; certain literary traditions, such as Old English verse, also alliterate using vowel sounds. So, depending on what definition you use, I could have used alliteration or assonance. Alliteration can just be the same sound at the beginning of words, and assonance is the same vowels across a few words, not simply at the beginning.. Whee. I think that's what my point was, anyway. I'm slightly tired.. --Tarmas. | |