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Now, let me start off by saying I have never met anybody so densely stupid and inept that I wanted to forget their name from the get go (and so annoying I had a conbadge made by the wonderful Evol just to celebrate in the pain and suffering).
In fact, the first moment I met Pochi (whoin from this moment shall be only refered to as Douchie) I knew this was going to be an interesting trip. Instead of "Hi, my name is..." or "Hey, I couldn't help notice your front yard was on fire." his opening line was: "So, what's your opinion on Baby Furs?" Why, hello thar!
I am not a judgemental person, but Douchie inspired within me the depths of hate the likes of which I have not felt in a long time. The entire trip down to Memphis all he did was talk about some guy named Lil Pup. Endlessly. For nearly 20 hours. The name had to have been dropped hundreds of times (I am NOT kidding). All the dude could talk or think about was of this guy. Almost at the start of the trip, Douchie grabbed his laptop and started showing me pictures of this guy. He said he spent over three hours searching this guy's site for every picture of him that he could, and he had them all on his desktop.
He stared at them for an hour before he started to show me pictures of himself wearing diapers, at which point I was ready to strangle him. If that wasn't bad enough, he started ACTING like a baby. He started makin' the "Ooogoo gaga" blend of noises and touching random stuff at one point, which lead me to yell. Now, I detest yelling and confrontration, but I couldn't take it anymore. "STOP ACTING LIKE A THREE YEAR OLD!" was shouted across the car by yours truly, to which his response was, "I'm not three! I'M TWO!".
Great. Then go act like a toddler and run arms flailing into oncoming traffic to chase the shiney red ball of justice.
At one point in the con I had gone up to my room to draw, and Douchie came up and declared, "I AM TIRED!" Well, good for you. He laid down on the bed next to me *shudder* and stared at me, then rolled over... and farted on me. He farted on me. He rolled over, took aim, and let an invisible lance of hate fire from the padded prison. However, the smell that hit me wasn't JUST anal backdraft, but the scent of a spoiled diaper. It was gagglingly bad. At this point Theome and Jaguars had come up to the room to hear the continuing stories of Douchie (they were starting to pile up).
We ordered a special bed just for him (since nobody wanted to sleep with him) and dumped all his stuff onto that bed. After the he farted, Tokala sprayed down the bed and all Douchie's plushies with a can of AXE deoderant to the point they were dripping. Despite the fact we emptied the can... the room still stank.
Sometime during the con he purchased a used plushie from the Dealer's Den. He was so proud of this $4 used plushie that he had to run up to EVERYBODY AT THE CON and show them the plushie. But more than that, he had to also every living morsel that it was also used plushie... and he only paid $4. What he didn't realize in his infinite stupidity, however, was this plushie had a visible stain on its crotch. A crotch everybody could see.
Words failed me at that point.
Anyway, more stuff happened, more stupid comments were made (like when he asked if the Southerners liked to "fry milk") and we headed home to the North. After I was dropped off, Shy and Tokala back to New Jersey... and minutes after leaving my house, they discovered Douchie had peed all over Shy's car. That's right. He peed all over Shy's car. And apparently, this was Not a Bad Thing(tm). We had been smelling something odd in the car, and Shy had thought maybe it was fertilizer. No. It was Douchie.
As I was told over the course of the trip, Pochi has "unique manners". He won't poop in a diaper, because that's disgusting. He will, however, sit in his own pee for hours and hours while being happy, care free and oblivious that the rest of the world wants to see Pochi re-enact the scene from Rejected where the baby falls down the endless flight of stairs.
By the by, for those wondering, here's a picture of Douchie. I advise you to avoid him at all costs.
