ID:183265
![]() Sep 3 2007, 4:06 pm
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For my communications class we have to do a speech introducing someone in the class. Here is what i have come up with. Please tell me what you guys think. One of Bob Ryan's child dreams ironically, was to someday comprehend every aspect of the moon. What makes his dream ironic is that Bob and the moon are indeed alike in many ways. Just as the moon has taken many beatings apparent by its craters on the surface, so has Bob. At the age of 6 he broke his arm while riding a bike with his only sibling Mary. While watching his favorite football team, the Washington Redskins, Bob fell down the bleacher’s and broke his leg. Unfortunately he also dislocated his shoulder while he was at practice for the Merdock high school baseball team. Similar to the moons hidden side we never see, Bob’s emotional side can also be concealed. He finds pleasure in writing poetic rhymes about love which is why his preferred music genre is rap and R&B. For charity Bob makes an effort every month to gather unwanted furniture and clothes from friends and neighbors to send to goodwill. Like the moons ambivalent past, Bob’s future is also conflicting and unknown. He plans to transfer to the University of Maryland after this semester. As for a major, Bob is not yet sure, but feels that business is the best choice. After college Bob hopes to own his own business. But whatever obstacle life throws at him, one thing is certain- just as the moons gravitational force raises the tide, Bob’s remarkable determination will raise him to the top. |
I like most of it, except about the rap. I don't find that crap like that at all.
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Punctuation and spelling issues aside, since this is an oral speech, I'll just hit the grammar notes:
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I read the first line and decided not to read the rest. Bob Ryan being similar to the moon is not ironic at all. The first two sentences are also pretty redundant, making it seem as though you are just trying to put something down on paper.
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The more I think about this, the less I think it works at all. You said you needed an introduction speech, so I don't think comparing someone to the moon fits that concept. An introduction speech should be a recitation of facts. It shouldn't have a thesis, let alone the ultra-stretched one you tried to fit over it.
Lummox JR |
Darkdemonrad wrote:
Too dramatic for my tastes, still it was good. Lol if I was in highschool I would say the same but I am only a lost and lonley middle schooler that noone talks to ( But that probably has to do with the fact that I'm new to the school and the most well-behaved there). But hey look at the bright side I will be in highschool next year and mabye I will have more freinds. (By the way does a really high vocabulary get your into college?) |
No good test scores and a solid GPA does. I only have the good test scores, hence my need for an amazing essay. a 3.3 won't get me into madison, but i've got loads of extracurriculars, an eagle scout, and good test scores. :-P
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Darkdemonrad wrote:
No good test scores and a solid GPA does. I only have the good test scores, hence my need for an amazing essay. a 3.3 won't get me into madison, but i've got loads of extracurriculars, an eagle scout, and good test scores. :-P well, my grade in english last year was 100 same for liturater to... and math was a B+ I think they will let me into a good college |
Yeah I can see your spelling is fantastic. Anyways, you don't seem to understand how you actually get into a good college.
Not only are you going to need to have good to great grades in school, but you are going to need to be able to find the time to take extra college level classes during high school and find time to do extracurriculars like helping out the community or boy scouts or some stupid crap like that. If you aren't willing to go the extra mile, you'll end up in a average or lower standard college. Me, I never even bothered. |
Revenant Jesus wrote:
Yeah I can see your spelling is fantastic. Anyways, you don't seem to understand how you actually get into a good college. I know that much I'm just saying good grades help you get into college and I need to get them so I can get in and I do extracurriculars im in the bingo club even though its really nerdy :P |
that'll mean nothing. clubs are nothing in comparison to sports and school sponsored events. IE theater shows, sports teams, forensics, etc.
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Darkdemonrad wrote:
that'll mean nothing. clubs are nothing in comparison to sports and school sponsored events. IE theater shows, sports teams, forensics, etc. ok then, im in chorus, and turns out I just made the cheerleading squad and the basketball team |
What gets you into a good college is a Solid GPA and good SAT scores. For example a 3.2 GPA, and an SAT score of 1800(new sat) will get you into a pretty decent college. As for sports, yeah they help. They really help if your good enouph to get into the college just becuase of sports. But that usually is not the case. I have one thing to say. Don't mess up your freshmen year. It will kick your ass senior year when your GPA is destroyed becuase of it. Basically if you mess up your freshmen year you have just fell into a hole, and you have to spend the rest of highschool trying to get out of it by getting extremley good grades.
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That's weighted GPA, by the way. Take Honors (or Gifted if you're in the program, those classes tend to be smaller) as they give you +1 point for every grade.
A = 5, B = 4, C = 3. Or if you take AP classes which are just code for college-level classes which can get you college credits and save you a bunch of money, you get +2 points for every grade. A = 6, B = 5, C = 3. To get the college credit, you must pass the AP exam in the end of the year. I don't know about other districts (but I imagine it's the same) but in Miami-Dade, the AP exams are taken in May. If you fail the exam, you still get the boosted GPA and high school credit, just not the college credit. Colleges like to see that you are capable of doing college-level work, so having passed some AP exams will surely look good on your record. |
Will you write my college application essay?