The setting: Italian restaurant.
I'm just finishing up my meal and my two sisters are biting hot peppers, seeing who can go longer before needing something to drink. I finish my soda and my sister turns to me.
"I dare you to eat that stick of butter, plain."
"What? Ew, no. I hate butter."
"You ate one once before."
"I thought it was chocolate! And I spit it out anyway."
"I'll pay you $20 if you do it."
Time stopped at that moment. It was a rather big chunk of butter, but I'd get something out of it. But $20! What would I do with that, anyway? Images began rushing to my head.
Nonsense. Surely I'm above a mere $20. Right?
"Alright, fine."
I picked up the butter and began unwrapping it. It was already rather warm and soft to the touch. As the paper came off, bits of butter were oozing like slime. My sisters watched on as I moved it closer to my mouth... I let it slide into my mouth.
The texture was like snot. It slipped and slided around my tongue. I bit down on it, and some of it got stuck in my teeth. A terrible aftertaste. I begin to twitch my head in disgust. Faster and faster I shook my head until I was moving at the speed of a woodpecker, vibrating in nasty spasms. I tilt my head from side to side, desperately trying to work the goop into the back of my throat. With a final gulp, I push it in with my tongue and feel the butter slide down.
The waitress came around and saw the stick gone. In a cheerful tone, she asks "Would you like some more butter?"
"NO!"
My membership ended up being donated anyway, so I now have $20 that is sitting stale.
Maybe I'll use it for Acheron's Awakening instead.
