Granted. It gets scortching outside.

I wish Tom brought blogs back.

Granted. It eats you.

I wish I had a Vrocaan.

Higoten wrote:

Ganite wrote:

I wish I had a Vrocaan.

Granted. You now own a Vrocaan. However, due to a series of unfortunate wishes, it was eaten by a Fugsnarf.

I wish my laptop had a new battery pack.

Granted. Your laptop has a new battery-powered pack of cigarettes.

You and your laptop spend a lot of time together, smoking pack after pack of battery powered cigarettes. Unfortunately for you, you acquire lung cancer. One day, you collapse to the floor unable to breathe, and your laptop makes a Skype call to 911 and you are rushed to the hospital.

After a few hours, doctors go to the lobby where your laptop is waiting to hear the good ( or bad ) news. "I'm afraid he won't make it.", said the doctor. "His lungs have been completely fried from his frequent use of battery powered cigarettes. We have him on life support but there's not much else we can do at this point."

Your laptop cries and tells them to pull the plug. Without life support, your misery ends as you take your last breath. Unbeknownst to you, your laptop has always wanted to transcend his own design. What better way to become the greatest computer to ever exist than to manifest itself in a human body! In honor of you, once all of the doctors have left the hospital, he sneaks into the morgue and fuses himself with your lifeless body.

Standing in the room now was neither computer nor human. It defied everything we understood about technology and the human body. It was a combination that had been feared for centuries prior. The day that computer and man became one and the same finally arrived. He named himself...

Bomberman.



He swore to avenge his fallen ally by destroying that which created cigarettes in the first place: humans. For years, he flew from country to country bombing entire cities and destroying all who opposed him. Eventually, he devised a bomb so devastating, it decimated planet Earth completely, and Bomberman was able to escape the explosion by fleeing in his spaceship. While flying in space to find a new home, an asteroid slams into his knee and he dies.

Moral of the story: Don't smoke with laptops. Because they will fuse with your body when you die and become Bomberman.

I wish my teeth were awkward like Tom Cruise's.

Granted. But you move the planets into sun destroying the world.

I wish my KHR game would get listed already.

Lige wrote:

Ganite wrote:

I wish my KHR game would get listed already.

Granted, but you have to wait until Fugsnarf or LordAndrew get to it.

I wish for a Klondike bar.

Granted, but you've done horrible things for that Klondike bar.

I wish Tom would release that video he talked about sometime a year or so ago.

Akto wrote:

I wish I was the sexiest man alive.

Granted. Every male dies, leaving you the only man alive and, by default, the sexiest. Unfortunately, all women end up becoming lesbian so you're forever alone.

I wish Vegeta rubbed it in Yamcha's face that he got Bulma pregnant.

Granted, but you eat all of them in one sitting and get a diarrhea level of over 9000!

I wish I didn't have to start classes again so soon.

Granted. The company makes the announcement you have been dying to hear. A few weeks later they re-release the game at a super high price to which you buy it. After playing, you are surprised by the new plot twist, sadly that was the only thing they added everything else was less than average content.

I wish I had a drink.

Granted. They all die in a car crash along with your mother and other family members.

I wish I was as wise as Solomon.

Granted, now you can play any games on max settings.


I wish I was a pie.