Granted. Your grass is permanently rotten. And on fire.

I wish for this thread to be locked for the rest of the day.

Ganite wrote:

I wish tom had unlimtied ramen.

Granted. He now uses his unlimited supply of ramen to feed both himself and Lummox, no longer requiring either of them to work on BYOND for ramen money.

I wish Kaiochao would let me call him Kaioken.

Granted.

I wish for access to Santa's workshop.

WSHGC wrote:

I wish to be the very best that no one ever was.

Granted. In comparison, you make Jeffrey Dahmer look like a saint.

I wish Fugsnarf was the younger brother of Developous.

Granted, your computer grows legs and ran away with the fridge.

I wish I had bubbles.

Granted. You get a a lifetime copy of Eternal Life Magazine.

I wish I never had to use the bathroom.

Granted, but you are forced to work with BYOND Dragonball Z sources for the rest of your life.

I wish for the person that grants this wish to have a very happy day today.

Ganite wrote:

Granted.

I wish One Piece was close to finishing

Granted. One piece of chicken becomes close to finishing in the skillet. Once it's fried to perfection, it leaps out of the skillet and onto the floor. The chef who was cooking it, Gordon Ramsey, is astonished by the acrobatic abilities of the piece of chicken and encourages the piece of chicken to compete in the Olympics.

4 years later, the Olympics are underway, and the one piece of chicken shows tremendous valor and determination as he tops the leaderboards in swimming, archery, judo and rugby. He wins 10 Olympic gold medals, and later makes appearances in Nike and Gatorade commercials. He is nominated as "Most Influential Chicken of 2014" and is awarded a Nobel Piece Prize ( see what I did there? ).

However, Gordon Ramsey begins to get jealous. While the piece of chicken experiences enormous success, the ratings for Hell's Kitchen begin to drop and Ramsey is forced to file bankruptcy. Infuriated, Ramsey seeks to hunt down the one piece of chicken and take his money. After 3 months of looking for the one piece of chicken, Ramsey finally finds him and confronts him. "Listen here, you little donkey!", said Ramsey. "I'm the only reason you joined the Olympics in the first place, yeah? So where the !@#$ is my portion of the earnings, you stingy !@#$? I'm out in the UK busting my rump, yeah? While you leave me high and dry so you can live the good life, yeah?"

Feeling guilty, the one piece of chicken decides to write Ramsey a check for $1 million. "I never want to see you again, yeah?" said Ramsey as he walked out the door. The chef who gave life to the one piece of chicken now wanted nothing to do with him. The one piece of chicken began to feel alone and neglected in this world. So, he decided to end his life, and one dark morning, the one piece of chicken infiltrated a local KFC restaurant, and jumped into a bag that was being given out to a customer in the drive-thru. The customer, not knowing it was the legendary one piece of chicken olympic champion, shoved it into his mouth before driving off, and thus, the tale of the one piece of chicken ended.

Moral of the story: Don't let one piece of chicken join the Olympics.

I wish I had a Tibetian Mastiff.

Granted. You got fired.

I wish I had a job

Higoten wrote:

Ganite wrote:

I wish I had a job

Granted. You now have a job corrupting wishes.

I wish I knew what locks all of my keys unlocked.

Granted, but you unlocked something that shouldn't have been unlocked, resulting in you becoming engulfed in flames.

I wish I had a decompiler.