EDIT: Significant dialog changes, Enemy name changed. Once again TY for the advice.
ID:1320680
 Jul 10 2013, 7:47 pm (Edited on Jul 11 2013, 10:49 am)
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as some may know I'm working on a game called Ninja Kaisen. It isn't really gathering much interest and though I am no artist I decided to try my hand at a comic to get some of the story out there.
EDIT: Significant dialog changes, Enemy name changed. Once again TY for the advice. | |
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Jul 11 2013, 6:17 am
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Vrocaan
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Quick question. Why does the Akuma dood have two penises on his face? He should get that checked.
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They couldn't come up with a better name than "Revolution Seal"?
"Akuma" has been used too many times, it's now a cliche to use as the name of the bad guy. How did the seal just break? Did it have a timer? If so, why didn't the sealers check on it occasionally to make sure it wasn't triggered off? I mean, they love peace, right? | |
Vrocaan wrote:
Quick question. Why does the Akuma dood have two penises on his face? He should get that checked. He is actually one of the hands Akuma is in the coffin && his face is covered by that strange mask. The long nose and chin are just humorous additions to the mask I thought were interesting. SilencedWhisper wrote: They couldn't come up with a better name than "Revolution Seal"? the idea is that it was called the Revolution Seal because they were in the middle of an uprising and had finally sealed Akuma. @ the grammar and spelling & naming I saved everything as a PSD and can change all of the text relatively easily. I prolly shouldn't have done all the dialog as late as I did last night, I'll prolly work on it a bit later thanks for all the advice. As to why the shield surrounding the grave site went away I plan to explain that a little later. | |
I kinda realized that was a mask too.. No one has a chin that long... except for Reese Witherspoon. Reese Witherspoon has a chin that long.
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@Vrocaan What are you 12? Its either that or you are blind. As that is definitely a mask there, lil buddy. ;) Also, I must say you must have one odd penis as usually they are rounded not squared. You should get that checked. :)
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My penis is wedge shaped. I had an accident early on.
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Okay enough. Focus on the comic people please.
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I think I need to find a better place to post things.. <_<;
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The comic ok, tbh the font is distracting since it's not hand drawn.
Perhaps the title should be spanned across the top bar? Or you could have done one large box across the top with the title and that little story with a faded village behind it. | |
Use a ruler.
EDIT: also if its just narration i suggest imo to just make a box somewhere at the side and put the text in there. instead of spanding it across the top. | |
He already has a title, a backdrop of a village and narration spanning the top, my suggestion was to just combine that whole top row into something more visually engaging.
Plus it would give room for a larger title space, and the words over the village if done right is more appealing than wood surface? | |
I co-write a comic strip with this guy in school and what we find helps is setting the dialogue up, before drawing the art. So we know how many words we would fit per panel to allow for easy reading and then he draws the art to fit it. Cramping too much text doesn't really help.
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 last update. I'm honestly pretty happy with it like I said I don't consider myself an artist. I took a lot of advice into consideration, extended the landscape scene although I don't have a ruler handy I just made new boxes digitally and cut out my original messy ones. thank you to everybody for your feedback. & Thank you for the tips SilencedWhisper if I happen to continue this I will put more planning into the dialog before the actual art. I started the art on a whim and decided to do this with it. | |
Looking good bro! :) I can't wait to see this in action along with your game! :D Great things ahead for Ninja Kaisen (the game). :)
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I suggest changing the font like someone else had said before. The art style with the font chosen does match up. This causes the readers eye to be centered on the wrong thing, and pulls away from the artwork.
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