Bah. I have to say that being male is sure fun...
See, the scoop is that I'm now caught in the wide, wonderful world of dating. Don't get me wrong here: I'm single, and I'm not actually dating at the moment. However, I was close to not being single for a time there, and I was dating for a while (without a ton of flirting, but still dating). But now... two girls: both equally beautiful, both equally wonderful... both impossible to predict whether they truly like me or not, yet both obviously attracted to me.
One gave me the "let's be friends for now" story, but she made it fairly clear that she wanted to get to know me better while her time was otherwise preoccupied with school and such, so she could make a decision later on and potentially reverse the "let's be friends" concept once her schedule opened up. I'm not sure whether she is actually honest with this strategy or whether she's trying to avoid making a commitment just in case another, worthier feller sweeps her away. The problem, of course, is that I don't want to violate the potential for "more than friends" by seeing someone else -- I really do like her.
The other girl gave me the "let's not" story, but appears to have totally changed her mind because she's right back with her flirtations and cheerfulness whenever I appear. I still can't fully comprehend whether she's actually flirty or whether she's just trying to express that we should both let the past go and just be friends. The problem, of course, is that I don't want to wait for the other girl if it means I could have this one...
Worse, there's yet another girl I like who I haven't asked out yet, thanks to already dating another girl at the time; now that I'm not dating anyone specifically, well... =P
Like I said, being male is fun. I doubt I'm the only one who thinks so. =)
May 12 2006, 7:12 am
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Scoobert
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I have always wondered why men have to do all the courting in dating. It is a big pain, and knowing what a woman really thinks of you is next to impossible, unless you actually ask her. But that, too, is next to impossible, at least for me.
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Well, the first one actually made the initiative. I was tickled pink.
Uh, tickled pink in a manly sort of way. | |
Normally it is the man who tickles the girl's pink... Sorry, that one just popped right out at me.
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Bad Scoobert! *grin*
Date them all. Seriously. Don't let them jerk you around. Either they are interested or not. If they aren't, don't waste any more time being their fallback guy. Be friendly, of course, but don't stop looking. The let's be friends for now sounds like a load of bullshit. No offense, but it sounds like she knows your interested and wants to leave you on the hook while she does her thing. If she wants to be friends, fine. That means you see other people. If she can't deal with that, she needs to up the ante or walk away. Of course, if you two really don't know each other that well, it may just need some more time. As to gal #2, beware the friend flirts. Most likely, either she is just a tease or she has some serious commitment issues. Or both. Regardless, again, it sounds like she likes your attention, but doesn't want to be on the hook. Forget that. Flirt with her, have fun, whatever. But don't take any of it seriously until she's get serious. Definitely ask girl 3 out. And 4. And 5. :-) According to one study, odds are you are going to have to work through about 12 rejects before you find your right lady anyway. Good luck. | |
Rohypnol.
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Wait...wait... I have it:
In America, Girl tickles man pink. In Soviet Russia, Man tickles girl's pink. Zing! I'm sorry again, when something like that pops into your head, you have to say it. | |
Date them all. Seriously. I do have a thing against dating more than one person at a time, since I think it smacks of poor ability to make a commitment. Whenever I make a decision to date someone, I make a big commitment right then and there -- I want to see it through to whatever end it has. The actual end doesn't matter, since I'm not concerned with rejection; however, I am concerned about having mixed emotions for multiple people, and it looks like I'm already in deeper water than that. =) Granted, I'm not dating anyone right now, but I still have to decide whether to ask out Girl #2 (again) or Girl #3, for instance... and if Girl #1 says she wants to get back into it, that'd complicate things (especially if things got serious with #2 or #3). As for #4 or #5, I don't have those yet. I'm pretty choosey -- I never ask a girl out unless I'm convinced there's at least a 70-80% chance that she's the one. ;-) | |
Whaaaattt? It's dating, not marriage! Maybe that's part of the issue- you are attaching too much to dating. Dating is a chance to spend some time and get to know someone. It's sort of like the interview process for a job. But with potential for making out :-) Sometimes, you realize that there is not a match after the first date. Sometimes it takes a bit longer. But I would recommend reconsidering the level of commitment you attach to mere dating. This way, you can give more girls a chance without spooking them or getting confused about the commitment levels.
Think of it like a pool. Each date should be a step deeper. If you just dive in, you are going to be in deep trouble if the water turns out to be too low. Or boiling. Or acid. You can always make the commitment deeper later (IE exclusive dating, etc.) if she's a keeper. | |
Well, see, I actually think society has it backwards. I don't leap very far into a relationship to start with at all -- I take baby steps -- but there's no wonder why so many marriages and relationships fail if everyone is so willing to assume that a date is something just to be tossed out in favour of the next catch.
It bothers the hell out of me when people go through five or ten girls a year. Each relationship should be carefully crafted and start from a small seed until it grows on its own. For instance, I had no intention of "making a move" on Girl #1 while we were dating, not for a long time. I wanted to get to know her first. With the "let's just be friends" story, it's actually harder to get to know her now. =P Maybe I scared her with an invitation to spend an afternoon at an Aquarium, but another thing girls need to understand about me is that I don't spend money on myself, just on other people. Asking her to join me for a trip to the Aquarium is very tame compared to what I could go for. ;-) | |
I'd have to agree with JT here. Take it one at a time or it gets messy and you have to break out the nerve staples.
(And 10 years of economic sanctions by other faction leaders just makes the rejection even worse). | |