I just watched an interview with Australian student, Casey Heynes. I have three children, two of them are in elementary school, and I am obviously very worried about the threat of bullying -- especially to the extent described in that interview.
My personal experience in school, and this was so long ago this may have no relevance now, was about as benign as anything. I never saw bullying, never saw any fights of any significance... about as antiseptic of an environment as I could have hoped for.
I was more worried about the outpouring of support for Casey than the actual act itself. Apparently, chronic bullying is a real problem and it has touched a nerve in a large number of people. While my main focus has been to keep my children focused on their studies, I'm frankly terrified by the effect of social ostracizing and bullying on their impressionable minds.
At any rate, as I know the main demographic of BYOND is relatively young, I wanted to get input on what you either experienced or observed in terms of bullying in your schools and what perhaps you see as solutions or coping mechanisms for it.
Here's the interview -- well worth the 12 minute investment:
Mar 20 2011, 6:59 am
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Rockeyx2
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Its mostly all caused by facebook if your in highschool/middleschool. I never had a facebook so I never was in any drama or getting in fights. Also dont try and spread rumors plain and simple.
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Bullying only exists because of fear. Fear to either defend yourself or fear to stand up for someone else.
That being said, I go to what is described as a "high risk" high school. I'm not sure how they determine to label us like that, but it's probably because of the amount of kids on free or reduced lunch, the amount of fights and arrests and things of that nature. The guys and even a lot of the girls are used to fighting. You don't see a lot of people bullying each other because you can get swung on in a heartbeat. The less rough the environment is, the more bullying goes on. That's why you see a lot of it in predominantly white schools. Rich or middle-class white kids don't grow up on the streets where they're taught to hustle and brawl. They're soft and spoiled and so when a guy that had a slightly tougher upbringing comes along, they are able to be intimidated because the situation is new to them. The only way to end bullying is to just not allow yourself to be bullied. Talks or conferences won't work, suspensions won't work, most of the time the only thing that works is fighting back. Sometimes you don't even need to fight back. If your child just speaks up for himself and doesn't appear to be afraid, the bully will back off. Also, if your child is popular, that will make them less of a target as well. Bullies pick on people that they know other people won't stand up for. If your child has several friends in the class, they won't get bullied because they know that one of his buddies might step in to defend him. | |
Also, what Rockey said. Facebook and Myspace are the among the worst websites for kids. Especially in high school where there is more gossip and conflict over things like relationships and rumors. The more useless discussions your child is apart of, the more likely he is to get into a fight because eventually, he/she is going to say something to piss someone off and that's where the fight begins. I'm a senior now and I've never used a Facebook account. I got through high school just fine without social networking and so can everyone else.
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I'm not quite sure where you got the idea that a more stable environment leads to more bullying. I went to two high schools, one of them being Rich White Kid High School, and the other being a lower-middle class and more racially integrated school. Bullying was effectively nonexistent in the former, while there were numerous cases in the latter.
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At my old school, which I went to Elementary - Middle School, there was a little bit of bullying. I in fact was once, but after I stepped up and told him to fight me he backed off.
"Lift a couple weights and kick the bully in the balls next time" - Donnie Darko | |
I led a "bully group" against someone in elementary school, not as bad as the poor fellow in the video, but certainly not lightly. I'm the last person you'd expect was a bully, in appearance or in behaviour (I was friends with almost everyone in the class, except maybe the "icky gooey enemy-of-man" girls for a time - certainly wasn't mean to anyone else) so I'm sad to say I got away with it. Taking the opposite perspective, I don't recommend standing up to a bully, rather, contacting an understanding teacher helps a lot more. It's a shame we don't encourage these kids to do so more often. Educators really need to be more attentive.
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EmpirezTeam wrote:
Bullying only exists because of fear. Fear to either defend yourself or fear to stand up for someone else.The schools don't allow you to defend/stand up for yourself (or others). Especially not in a physical way. Society as a whole is incompetent. Just look at this kid; He got suspended because some little douchebag punched him in the face. I bet if he hadn't fought back, no action would have been taken by the school. Schools I went to never had a big issue with bullying, but there are pretty blatant rules against fighting. Teach your kids to fight back (for themselves and others), regardless of society's consequences. Otherwise, they will end up like these kids if the situation arises. Also, I wouldn't recommend keeping them "focused on their studies". In elementary school, when they're learning the basics required for everything else, then maybe. But beyond that, socializing is a much more important aspect. All the useless knowledge you learn beyond how to read/write/add isn't worth a thing in society if you can't interact with people. Grades aren't worth much unless you plan on getting a scholarship to Harvard. And, if they worry about socializing, more than learning pointless knowledge, they'll have a much more enjoyable experience IMO. As long as they manage to pass everything =P I go to what is described as a "high risk" high school. I'm not sure how they determine to label us like that but it's probably because of .. the amount of fights and arrests and things of that nature. The guys and even a lot of the girls are used to fighting.Yea, I wonder why they label your school like that. Its no wonder you act like a ghetto retard. Also, that facebook argument is fail. Bullying existed long before facebook, or even the internet for that matter. EDIT: Also*2, what Vexonator said has been my experience as well. Though my schools were never on the far end of either side. The more diverse/unstable the crowd, the more problems there will be. | |
I myself was bullied in 6th-8th grade.
The fuckers would constantly throw stuff at me. Hell, some would flat out screw with me. Mind you, I solved it by chasing those f'ers all over the school. (They should be thankful I am not the most fit runner in the school too. They KNEW to run from me, cause I was someone who literally bashed in a kid with glasses face because he messed up a drawing I had been working on for a week). The few times I stood up for myself, I would be the one in trouble. Quite frankly, you want to solve bullying? Get the School to punish the bullies, not the one defending himself. If it weren't for that, I guarantee you I wouldn't have even WENT for the student, I would have went for my TEACHER who flat out said to bully me. *Note: Yes, there are teachers who defend the bullies. They expect you to sit there and take it and tell you "don't cry about it". It's that mentality that has lead to the "Trolls" of today. Because Society says "Deal with it" rather than dealing with the trouble makers, they get away with too much.* | |
Bullying eh? I actually don't get bullied. In middle school bullies tried not to waste their time with me because I always had something to say back and well if someone hit me I made sure to get them back at some point unless we were joking around. Now in high school no one bullies me, I actually feel no fear walking through a group of intimidating seniors while the school is empty around 7:00pm. Some of them even have the decency to say hello.
EDIT: Actually now that I think about it, I don't get bullied because all of my friends are buff guys from the football and basketball team even through I'm pretty weak in comparison :P. | |
"Falacy is an idiot." -This quote is attributed to Mab, though despite the fact that she's not even really a BYONDer, this comes out of her mouth anytime your name is mentioned.
First of all stop bold-ing everything and stop with the personal attacks. The Facebook argument is valid. Middle schoolers generally aren't mature enough to use a social networking site. They tend to use it for gossip and spreading rumors. The entire issue is a failure in parenting... (I can never finish a thought before I'm dragged away from a computer.) | |
Hiro the Dragon King wrote:
"Falacy is an idiot." -This quote is attributed to Mab, though despite the fact that she's not even really a BYONDer, this comes out of her mouth anytime your name is mentioned.Some irrelevant person who doesn't actually know me, who I've never even heard of, who isn't a "BYONDer" thinks I'm an idiot. Why should I care or put any stake in that at all? The fact that you do, seems to make you an idiot, if anything... First of all stop bold-ing everything and stop with the personal attacks.Improves readability, and saves space. Especially with this horrible quote method BYOND uses. | |
I never experienced very much bullying myself either, but my opinion on the matter is probably less valid because I've always gone to private schools. I imagine the problem is much more prevalent in public schools than private. Regardless, I find that people don't blame the children on these matters but instead blame the schools and teachers. It's the bully that needs the slap in the butt. People these days are just afraid of punishment.
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I've always gone to Public Schools and experienced a shit ton of bullying at my first middle school in 6th and 7th grade.
However I moved and haven't experienced any bullying. Even in High School I see little to no bullying. Now, if you're completely immature and awkward then yes, you probably will get bullied. | |
I think bullying is less prevalent in high school than middle in most cases. Sure, the older kids still pick on the younger, but that's pretty normal in high school and considered a rite of passage in a sense. By high school, I think most people have figured out that everyone's different and live with it. If you're still bullying in high school, then -you're- the one that is immature and awkward.
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Bullying in my school isn't too bad, as long as you're in the accelerated/AP classes (you're usually only around a select group of smarter kids, as opposed to those that get in fights). However, in the lower classes, mostly the general classes, which consist of people with IQs of around 90 or so (my one teacher told us...) there's a lot of fighting. For example, last year, there were between 3 and 8 fights in a week, which resulted in my principal being moved down to elementary school and to the hiring of a new, massive, strict "Dean of Students" (he isn't qualified to be a principal or a vice principal, but this year, he is the rough equivalent of the latter). For me, though, middle school was a lot worse bullying wise, primarily because the classes were still mixed and because I was a puss.
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Falacy, I never said bullying didn't exist before Facebook. My point is that social networking contributes to fights and other drama that goes in school. Kids gossip, argue, and spread rumors from their computers and then come to school to fight over whatever was said.
There is really no arguing the point anyway. A few weeks ago we had a fight near the lunchroom. 2 girls fighting because one of them made a Facebook status the other girl didn't like. This isn't my opinion, this is fact that I've witnessed with my own two eyes. I'd link you to the video of the fight that some guy recorded on his cell phone, but it was removed from YouTube for some reason. Falacy wrote: Some irrelevant person who doesn't actually know me, who I've never even heard of, who isn't a "BYONDer" thinks I'm an idiot. Why should I care or put any stake in that at all? The fact that you do, seems to make you an idiot, if anything... It seems you came to the blog to argue with me and everyone else rather than just follow Booty's directions and tell about YOUR EXPERIENCE at YOUR SCHOOL. And you call me the "ghetto retard" and "stalker". Don't you have some copyright-infringing games to go "make original"? | |
which consist of people with IQs of around 90 or so (my one teacher told us...) Your teacher sounds like exactly the kind who contributes to bullying, with this mindset (this class tests an average IQ of 90, they're below average, I wouldn't be surprised if there's bullying in it). | |
Kumorii wrote:
Now, if you're completely immature and awkward then yes, you probably will get bullied. The hidden implication being, if you're bullied you're probably immature and awkward. | |
Toadfish wrote:
which consist of people with IQs of around 90 or so (my one teacher told us...) Not really, I feel so bad for her. You can't even imagine what she has to put up with in that class...no matter how hard she tries, they don't try. EDIT: And just to clarify, if we ever tried making fun of them or something for it, we'd probably get the shit beaten out of us. | |