What the Hell happened to my development impetus? There's little left for me to do at the moment but pick up the pieces and try to figure it out:

• Up until the 4th of January, development was going pretty well.
  
  
• A week after that, the 11th of January, I'm writing an entry about how I had encountered writer's block. This had persisted on the 17th of January entry I made - that video would suggest I was also interested in playing Precusors, which I did.
  
  
  • About that time, the bubonic plague struck. Well, okay, not the bubonic plague, just a really nasty chronic cold that completely wiped me out for several weeks. The same bug made my muscles ache, gave my brother a sinus infection, and gave my mom pneumonia, it was a real bastard.
    
    
  • Also about that time, I heard about Rift. At first, I discounted it as being a worthless World of Warcraft clone doomed to vanish beneath its shadow like so many WoW clones before it. Then I read about the dynamic content end game - I'd been wanting something like that for a very long time, and suddenly I was very interested.
  
  
• By the 5th of February, I reported that I was over my cold, but that I was still recovering from all the damage it did. Around this time, I was largely anxiously hoping to be invited into the next Rift event, which happened about once a week for 3-4 days. I participated in the last three betas (including the open beta). The time between the events probably would have been a good time to get some development done, but I largely stuck to forums and anime.
  
  
• About February 21-23th, conveniently between the end of Rift open beta but before the head start, I was heavily occupied with helping out my sister while she was in town. She's often raising her 1 and 1/2 year old first born whilst her hubby is away on business as so offers me a bit of green to lend her a hand, which is a godsend for a fellow without any income. She also needed help getting her apartment cleaned out.
  
  
• February 24th, it's snowing outside, the Rift Head Start began, and I participated eagerly.
  
  
• February 27th, sore throat, headache, swollen glands... I could no longer deny the symptoms: I was down with another nasty chronic cold. I suspect my sister and her baby boy, who had just recovered from a cold, had imported it fresh from Seattle, just for me, and the incubation period had finally come to a head.
  
  The symptoms weren't quite as severe as the one I had a month before: no muscle aches, just feeling wiped out, my nose running most of the time, at times headachy or with a sore throat. I was so tired, I couldn't even play Rift some days, I just relaxed and tried to enjoy some anime.
  
  
• March 5th, this second cold has largely run its course. Judging by how inflamed my sinuses became, feeling like raw nerves sometimes, they were probably infected. Still blowing my nose a bit, but I'm not feeling nearly as miserable.

Throughout it all, I have to wonder: if I were any kind of game developer, wouldn't I have powered through this and produced something?

I've been doing a terrible job lately. I haven't even been looking for work, which is silly considering I'm fully aware I can't very well bum off my parents forever.

I'm working on getting my shit in gear. I'm just damn discouraged considering how things have been going lately.