I wish people would send me their selfies.
Granted. people sent you selfies of there bottom.
I wish I could come up with a good game idea.
IainPeregrine wrote:
Granted. people sent you selfies of there bottom. I wish I could come up with a good game idea. | |
Granted. However the concept is so rich so powerful in order for the universe to balance itself the game idea in its entirety is reformed into Atari's ET.
I wish for narto to be my sensei. | |
Granted. You decide to take up stamp collecting as a hobby. Narto agrees to be your stamp collecting sensei, but his knowledge on the subject is pretty thin. Him being of little-to-no help, your hobby falls flat and you fall into a state of intense depression with nothing to fill the hole in your life that you hoped stamp collecting could fill. Your days are spent in isolation as you mull over your situation. After some deep thought, you decide that Narto is to blame and plot to kill him. You are caught in the act and spend the rest of your life in prison.
I wish sleep was not necessary, and that there were no adverse side-effects to my lack of sleep. | |
Fugsnarf wrote:
I wish sleep was not necessary, and that there were no adverse side-effects to my lack of sleep. Granted. But because of it not being necessary you cannot sleep anymore. I wish I started a successful business with no bankruptcy or downfall | |
Granted. You indeed start a successful business. A lemonade stand. However your success is short lived as per your cities by-laws a permit is required for any and all kind of retail facilities. This of course includes lemonade stands. You attempt to explain to an arresting officer that you were unaware of this by-law the officer fines you a total of $5000. His partner is busy sampling your wares only to forget his lemon allergy, he stumbles onto the road in a frenzy of allergy induced pain only to be shot by an oncoming group of gangsters committing a drive by whilst yelling "F#&@ the police". For better or worst you are now a suspect in a deeply plotted intricate murder involving yourself and a group of neighborhood gangsters.At the moment you are being arrested for failure to provide a permit for a retail facility. During the arrest you wriggle around because the handcuffs are too tight. The officer sees this as a form of "resisting arrest" or so he tells the court. In reality he beat you senseless something the likes of which would make the rodney king incident seem pale in comparison. You now lye on the ground having soiled yourself believing today is the day you would die. You are taken downtown to the nearest police district in your city and in addition for the by-law fee charged with conspiracy in the attempted murder of a civil officer. You wake up the next morning in a jail cell with a gentlemen named rick who greets you with a hello before penetrating you and raping you against your will. Rick was sent by the area gang to ensure your lips unlike your rectum are kept tight. Finally, your mother sends a care package whilst you await your trial for murder. The care package your mother had sent was replaced with lemons as some sort of sick joke by one of your family members. Most likely your inappropriate uncle Louis. There is a note in the basket that reads "when life gives you lemons make lemonade". You awake from your dream to realize the care package did not exist but everything else had happened. You awake from that dream to realize you are in a Micheal Bay movie, and the "Decepticons" have just sliced your head off of your body just as you enter the dream. You wake up from that horror only to realize you are not indeed in a Micheal Bay movie all the aforementioned things did occur you weep in agony and acquire your "one phonecall" you enter the phonecall incorrectly only to receive an answering machine message of an unknown couple singing good vibrations by marky mark. You get off the phone acquire a shiv from a nearby prisoner and attempt to stab yourself to death in a useless attempt to commit suicide. You awake in a hospital after coming out of a comma some 15 years in the making. You are in good health. It is now friday Rebecca Black's "friday" is playing in the hospital lobby as you exit to take a stroll. A lemon salesmen of all things spills his cart filled with lemons a single lemon rolls over to your feet and you recall all the formerly mentioned things that happened causing your life to be a shell of what it could have been. You have a heart attack and die in a hospital, the one place that could have saved you.
I wish to be crowned overlord of this forum post. | |
Granted. You're now crowned overlord of this post, however it means little and has no significant improvement on your ego.
I wish that this wish was corrupted. | |
Granted.
I wish I could go back and tell my past self all sorts of things that I would have benefited from by knowing. | |
The current you goes back and tells the past you everything about what is to come of your life. Which means that the current you has already been visited by the current you and you already know everything about what is going to happen to your life up until the point you made this wish. You didn't wish for a way to return to your own time so you are stuck in the past with your younger self, but you already knew this because it already happened. The current you makes this wish and you are now alone not knowing what the future holds. Therefore this wish has already been granted.
I wish everything I think is bad was good and everything that is good was bad. | |
Granted.
Everyone now worships Lord Hitler, and only you realize that something is wrong. I wish that Nintendo released high quality games daily. | |
Vrocaan wrote:
I wish that Nintendo released high quality games daily. Granted. Nintendo now releases high quality games on a daily basis, but only in Japan. I wish I had a deck of playing cards. | |
Granted. The deck is cursed, and in typical RPG fashion you cannot let go of it. You also happened to pick it up with your dominant hand. Better find yourself a priest. Oh, I forgot to mention that a priest's magic is not powerful enough to remove the cursed item. The only way to remove a cursed deck of playing cards is to trek through the ancient forest of man-eating trolls, in and out the pitch black caves where the giant vampire bat lord resides, over the cursed ocean of the leviathan, and through the Dark Lord's castle and the catacombs below it. Defeat the Dark Lord to end the curse. You're level 1 and you have with you 1 dagger, 5 gold, 1 pot lid, and a jar of medicine that heals 20 health. Ye find yeself in yon dungeon. Obvious exits are NORTH, SOUTH, and DENNIS.
I wish bacon was the healthiest food on earth. | |
Fugsnarf wrote:
I wish bacon was the healthiest food on earth. Granted. Bacon is the healthiest food on earth but because it is now healthy you become over weight. I wish pokemon where real. | |
Ganite wrote:
Fugsnarf wrote: Granted. Pokemon are now real, but throughout your life you don't have a single pokemon for yourself. I wish I was a billionaire. | |
Granted but you lose it all from bad investments .
I wish I was a little bit taller I wish I was a baller I wish I can tell girls I'm a shot caller. | |
King_LiOnZ wrote:
I wish I was a little bit taller I wish I was a baller I wish I can tell girls I'm a shot caller. Granted. You grow a inch more and become a fake baller and the girls laugh at you. I wish I had some McDonalds | |
Granted. You eat a Big Mac and then one of your arms fall off. You try to figure out why your arm fell off when suddenly breaking news of a McDonald's beef recall is shown on television. They explain that the companies that sell beef to McDonald's were actually not using cows at all. In reality you ate a radioactive kitten burger. Tormented by the knowledge that you ate a poor, defenseless kitten, you leap off the Golden Gate bridge. However, instead of plummeting into the Pacific Ocean and drowning to death, you fall onto a sailboat and knock yourself unconscious. When you wake up, a man and two boys are staring down at you with a "Where the hell did this guy come from?" expression on their faces. The man introduces himself, and you learn that his name is Admiral Napkinbutt. You explain your situation to Admiral Napkinbutt, and he is infuriated by the fact that you ate a poor, defenseless radioactive baby kitten burger, so he stabs you in the elbow and he makes you walk the plank and jump back into the ocean. His children stick their tongues out at you as you flail helplessly in the freezing waters.
You sink to the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. Poseidon finds your body and decides to give you a second chance at life. Using his trident, he smacks you back up to the surface of the ocean, and onto a shore in eastern Asia. Eventually you realize you are in Japan, and so you anxiously try to find Nintendo headquarters so you can ask about DEM GAEMS. A homeless man gives you Shigeru Miyamoto's address, and you hide in a bush outside his house. When he comes home from a long day of MAKIN DEM GAEMS, you leap out of the bush, but because he's Asian, he possesses tiger-like reflexes, and is able to move out of the way and launch a counter-attack. He punches you, sending you flying all the way to North Korea. You land in the worst possible place: Kim Jong-un's bedroom. As you pick yourself up off the floor, you see a naked Kim Jong-un humping Dennis Rodman, and because what your eyes just saw can never be unseen, your brain explodes. All because you ate a radioactive kitten burger from McDonald's. Moral of the story: Do not eat radioactive kitten burgers from McDonald's. I wish I had Meteos hair.  | |
EmpirezTeam wrote:
I wish I had Meteos hair. Granted. Unfortunately, his hair sprouts from every pore on your body. Except for your palms. You are now the world's largest domestic importer of shaving balm. I wish the next person to make a wish would be rendered suddenly and temporarily unconscious mid-wish. | |
Granted.
I wish I had... | |
Granted. You now have an elephant trunk growng out of your face where your nose used to be. That is what you wanted, wasn't it?
I wish I did not have to mow my grass, that it did not grow any taller than my most desired length, and that it remained that way indefinitely. | |
Granted, but your 5 year mission is canceled after only 3 years.
I wish people would send me their selfies.