Im sending this to people I feel I may have upset in the past because I realized something about myself today. For years ive been coping with aspergers syndrome alone, unaided, without any form of assistance from psychiatrists who understand the problem fully. This is not an excuse so don't get me wrong.
I have been slow to develope socially and emotionally. over many years I've always seen myself as the black sheep, the odd one out. I never really knew why. Steadily as I grew up I began to find ways to become more social to fill in the blanks to myself until eventually I was able to function on a decent level of stability in the world. thought it always required conscious effort to maintain it. I didnt always pick up on what people were saying, didnt always get jokes. and became easily offended.
After years of this I thought I was done, though in the byond community and many other internet communities I always had troubles in dealing with people. Whenever I had these problems I usually saw them as the problem. Well recent events took place that showed me that im far from done growing socially and emotionally and also came to remember the people I have offended in the past. who, to be fair now, likely weren't the problem.
Im sorry if I've ever offended any of you in the past, I know you probably wont forgive me of accusing you for many many things, but I ask that in the future you try to help me realize just what im missing so that I can understand you all better and become a better person for it.
Thank you.
Raephire/Dareb
ID:184444
 Sep 25 2006, 12:08 am
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Sep 25 2006, 12:12 am
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Elation
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first
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hey man how's it going, are you still with that young girl you impregnated
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No, she left me for a 45 year old, go figure. My son is 3 now and hes such a big boy :D
Im currently with another woman who is 21, im 25, my ex is 24. My current gf lives across a 500 mile long lake fortunately I have a boat, so we can see eachother quit often. I live between Lake Ontario and Lake Erie. I'll be going to college in Toronto, and living in a student apartment downtown near the T.O harbor. , its south from there to the welland canal, through the locks, and out into lake erie, and west to Toledo. personally I kinda like the fact that I can get out on the lake. | |
Perhaps others have been offended by you, but I, personally, have not. You have always seemed like a nice guy and I would have never guessed you had aspergers. I suppose that you wouldn't have posted this if you didn't offend anyone.
I don't know a lot about aspergers, but from what I do know, the fact that you can hold a relationship and one good enough to bear a child shows that you have it well in check. It is also good of you to come into a public forum(Well, I don't mean forum such as these forums but rather the old meaning of the word) and apologize for past mistakes. What you described as being the symptoms of aspergers actually sounds a lot like me. I have never been diagnosed with it, but then again, I have never been to a physiologist to tell me one way or another. I have always been a social leppard so to speak and had a hard time understanding what people meant when they say some things. Miscommunication is the story of my life. All these things probably don't add up to much more than a little social problems, but I do understand how it can feel to not be accepted in the normal circles and to not pickup on what people where saying when they say it clear as day("Lets be friends...with benefits" didn't really strike me with its meaning until after somebody clearfield it for me, awkward!). Good luck keeping yourself in the norm. Just remember, for as cheesy as it sounds, you really shouldn't care about the public at large's opinion of yourself. I tend to walk around thinking about if other people around me think I am weird. This tends to cause me a lot of grief because while I am thinking about them, I tend to slip up and do something completely embarrassing(Run into a pole, anyone?). | |
You're certainly trying to make good, and that's more than a lot of people ever bother to do. Sincerely, I'm glad to hear you're doing all right and hope for the best for you in things to come, including in the BYOND community.
Lummox JR | |
Lummox JR wrote:
You're certainly trying to make good, and that's more than a lot of people ever bother to do. Sincerely, I'm glad to hear you're doing all right and hope for the best for you in things to come, including in the BYOND community. Second'd, except for the "and that's more than a lot of people ever bother to do." I don't know much about that, but I don't usually hang out with a bad crowd. You took the words right out of my mouth. [Edit] Brain, not mouth. | |
Back in DWO, you didn't like me too much, but that was years ago.
Havn't really heard much about you lately, you doing good? | |
I'm glad to see you're trying to make up for the wrongs you have done to people in the past, but honestly the past is the past. You and I never saw eye to eye about much of anything. I can recall countless times we argued over nothing, and just got on each others nerves. I'll accept your apology only if you accept mine. I feel like I owe you the same, as many of our pointless arguements were my fault. I was childish then, and I'm sorry for it. Glad to see you around Dareb.
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Actually no, After my gallbladder surgery we discovered I have a chronic blood condition that is still being worked on in regards to proper medication.
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Dareb wrote:
yea, sorry for being such a dick, i may continue to be a dick too probably but im trying. i'm not sure i understand what you mean - you used to be a dick passively but now you're doing it on purpose? is this good? | |
It's good to see you taking some perspective, I've personally never had any issues with you outside of the normal 'he's acting like a jerk today, lets just not talk to him for a while' stuff. We got along great in DWO and in our various out-of-game conversations, but your actions towards others on the forums made me a little wary of communicating with you. Hope things start looking up for you, it's never fun being down in life.
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He's apologizing for being the way he was. Because of his aspergers, he can't really help it, but will try to avoid it.
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CaptFalcon33035 wrote:
He's apologizing for being the way he was. Because of his aspergers, he can't really help it, but will try to avoid it. Everyone on the internet has aspergers. | |